Rejection and negative comments are two things that leave us with negative feelings. Nobody likes negative comments about them, rejection even less. There is a reason for this, as when we were living in tribes a long time ago, rejection would mean death. It was impossible to survive without a group of people, so refusal meant that you are damned to die. It is encoded in our genes, that rejection is something that we would love to avoid at any cost. On the other hand, negative comments would not mean that you will die, but they can affect your self-esteem, worth and confidence.
What stripping has with all this?
Maybe it is hard for you to imagine, but as a stripper, you are facing a lot of rejections and negative comments. Rejections in stripping are similar to death, hahaha, as with every rejection you are missing the opportunity to earn money. And, the example of negative comments would be: you are too old; where are your breasts; shouldn’t you look better; all of you are whores; look at her cellulite; where is her but; I have bigger boobs than you; why you work here, you could do so much better; and so on.
How was this affecting me?
In the beginning, with every rejection, I was feeling terrible. Like, I am not good enough, especially if the guy said ‘No’ even before I introduced myself, and later I saw him with another dancer. Likewise, every negative comment affected my confidence and self-esteem. As time was passing and I gained experience, and I learned a lot about everything. Today rejection and negative comments can’t affect me. So, I want to share with you what I’ve learned through stripping.
What stripping taught me?
Don’t take it personally
Whenever someones reject you or direct negative comments to you about you, don’t take it personally. It has to do nothing with you, or with your worth. There is one exciting story about the present. If someone is giving you the gift, and you don’t take it, with whom the gift will stay? With them, of course. So, next time, don’t take it.
It’s a reflection of their inner state
The person who has discovered his/her inner beauty will recognize beauty in others. As well the person who is in peace with himself/herself will have no need to comment on someone in a negative way. It is usually the reflection of their insecurities and inner turmoil. So, whenever you receive a negative comment, stop for a second and become aware of why they are doing it at the moment. Very quickly, you will understand that it has to do nothing with you, but more with them.
It’s about them
I learned that rejection can happen for many reasons. In the club specifically. It may mean that the guest doesn’t have money, he is not in the mood, you are not his type of girl, he is shy, afraid, and who knows. The point is, it has to do nothing with you and your worth. Therefore if some guy/girl rejects you, especially for a relationship, it may be for many different reasons. Their personal reasons, maybe they are not ready for a relationship, they don’t feel good about themselves, they are going through a hard time, or perhaps you are not their type. And, when you are not someone’s type, it doesn’t mean that you are not good enough, ugly or unworthy. It happened many times that the guy came to me in the club because he hates silicons. Also, this doesn’t mean that the girl with silicons is too much or not good enough.
In short, firstly it’s all about them, remember that! Secondly, there are no tribes any more, and you can survive with every rejection. So, when the fear of rejection comes up, be aware of our genes and codes. Even that you are all alone and rejected by everybody you know, you can survive. Also if you are not someone’s type, it’s ok. You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, nor all the people are your cup of tea. Having this in mind will save you from questioning your worth.
The good and helpful thing is to become aware of how worthy you are, when you know your true worth, then you are centred, and nothing can kick you out from there. The truth was when I wasn’t aware of my worth, it was so hard not to be influenced by rejection and negative comments. If you find a hard time to deal with negative comments and rejection and is hard for you to have the sense of your worth, you can always contact me and book a free Discovery Call with me. I will be more than happy to teach you everything I have learned till now.