Nowadays, everyone is talking about self-love. You have probably already heard statements like: The relationship with yourself will determinate all other relationships in your life; How much you love yourself that much other people will do; or something similar.
In one of my previous blog posts, I wrote about my self-love journey. You can check it out here.
The most important thing to learn about self-love is that it is a muscle. You really have to build it up, to invest energy into action. Self-love is also a decision, and it will be the most important one you have ever had to make.
Therefore if you have decided to love yourself more, and you are ready to take action here are the seven ways how to do it.
SEVEN SELF-LOVE WAYS
The first thing is to become mindful. If you are not aware of what is going on in your head, what are you feeling, and especially when the critical voice gets in charge, it will be tough to love yourself. Learning to observe what is going on the inside will help you to have control and change what it needs to be changed. As well mindfulness will help you to get in charge over your unconscious impulses-that were leading you into unloving actions.
The good self-care is the foundation of self-love. Taking care for your physical, mental and spiritual health will do magic to your life. Deciding to do at least one self-care action daily will raise your vibration. With better vibration, you will have a better outcome, no matter what you do. Increasing the self-care, you are also increasing your sense of self-worth, and this is definitely the path toward self-love.
By toxicity, I mean everything, substances, people, environment. One thing is particular when we talk about toxic people and substances. We get addicted to them. Yes, whenever we reach for cigarette, alcohol or something else our brain release the dopamine. Having instant relief, or avoiding the situations in life with substances is not the act of self-love. Similar is happening with toxic people; their actions are training our neuro system for drama and stress. After enough repeated drama moments, our cells develop an addiction to it. Removing toxicity from our life will require a strong will power. And it is definitely worth it, just imagine how much of your precious energy are those people and things consuming right now.
4.Acting on what you need rather than what you want
This step is the hardest one you will have to learn, and it connects all other actions that lead toward ultimate self-love. Maybe you would love to keep that toxic boyfriend, to eat that chocolate cake and skip the gym, or to make an excuse and not invest in yourself. Is that what you need? Deciding to stay centred and keep doing actions that will help you grow is the expression of love toward yourself.
Setting boundaries to everything that you don’t feel in your being as Yes. Yes, even to your best friend, lover or work. If you don’t feel like going on that coffee, having sex with your partner or something else, protect yourself. You are the only one that is responsible for your NO. With setting healthy boundaries, you are showing people how to respect you and love you. And remember that people who don’t like or respect your boundaries are the people who don’t benefit from you having them.
6.Forgiveness and Compassion
To step on the self-love path, you have to open the door first, and the door that leads there is called ‘forgiveness’. Forgive yourself for all the unloving actions and all the wrong choices. After forgiveness, you will need a lot of compassion. Compassion will push you further and keep your back while you learn to love yourself.
The more patience you have it will be more comfortable. If you expect from yourself that you will fall in love with yourself and change yourself overnight, you have destined yourself for the downfall. As I said, it is a muscle. It will need time to grow. You also don’t enter the gym and expect to have six-pack after one workout. Same is with self-love. It will need repetition of right actions to build up this muscle.
The sad truth about our society is that no one has taught us what self-love is and how to love ourselves. Even more disturbing fact is that in some dictionaries self-love is a synonym for egotism. So, if you love yourself, accept yourself and have boundaries, you are selfish or even narcissist. If you are concerned about it, let me make it easier for you. As long as you have empathy, you are not selfish or narcissist, but don’t allow your empathic nature to put everything and everybody before yourself.
Self- love is action, not a fiction. So, stop telling around how you do love yourself while your actions are showing the opposite. Doing at list one thing from this list will increase your self-love. Don’t rush yourself and have patience. This life will be teaching us how to love ourselves more until we die. As soon as you master one self-love part, another lesson will be sent to you. Maybe you have mastered how to love yourself up to this moment, and then universe sends you children. So, now you have to learn how to love yourself in that situation. You see, you will have self-love lessons all the time. Actually, this life is teaching us how to become love, and for us and for others.
If you have difficulties in learning how to love yourself, accept your body, love your body and your sexuality, I am here for you. You can always contact me for a free Discovery Call to see if we are a good fit.